Oh my. Well, in keeping true to my slackerdom, I am just now getting around my my 2016 goals.
I was inspired by a youtube beauty guru to make my goals and write them down. I have been watching Sam Scheurman's daily family vlogs and beauty videos for years and since she has moved to Tahoe and been attending more beauty events, I have seen other gurus in her videos. Recently I decided to check out some of the other ladies channels. I like to see what products they are using on their skin and which lipsticks won't dry out my lips or rub off on my boyfriend (if I decided to wear lipstick). Summer Saldana's channel was different. I watched a couple of her videos posted since the new year where she discussed changing her youtube content to what was on her heart to share and when she wanted to share it. She no longer feels the need to be trendy or on some made up schedule in order to be popular on youtube. I liked that. Plus she seems to be pretty thrifty, which I love.
Anyway, her first video that spoke to me was the one where she announced the above changes and used the term "taking the pressure off". I felt compelled to comment on the video.
I am freshly new to your channel after having seen you in Sam Scheurman's vlogs. I have to say, I love what you said at the beginning of your video. "Taking the pressure off" is something I need in my life as well, so I completely sympathize with you. In my case, I work three jobs, act, have a boyfriend (after not having one for quite a while and we're over 5mos so meeting family and friends and moving forward is happening), I'm a runner (training for my second marathon), I take on various projects, try to have a social life, am very close with my family whom I try not to neglect after losing my Dad, Grandma and Aunt last year and bottom line is I try to be everything for everyone. Sometimes I think I forget who I am and what I want/need. I do love that you are a woman of faith and are open about that fact. That is an area of my life that I am excited about right now with combining my talent/passion of acting and being an active member of my church by performing in my churches Passion play that will open Passover weekend.
All that to say, I feel ya and I am loving that phrase, "taking the pressure off" and I will think of that moving forward through this year as I work on myself and learn to say, "no thank you" once in a while.So basically, I never say "no" and I take on a ton of stuff making me feel overwhelmed and stressed. Yeah, I like making other people happy, but it can no longer be at the expense of my own happiness. I tend to have this feeling of my life being on hold or waiting for this illusive someday to happen to me when my life starts. That segways me into my next goal of living in the moment. I need to stop obsessing over the future. What will happen, will happen and as much as I'd like my two grandparents that I have left and other family members to be present when I get married and have children, there's nothing I can do to control that. There will be a hole in my heart when those times come because my Dad will not be there in body to enjoy them with me, but moments happen in their own time. I need to enjoy this moment that I am given.
That has led me into my next set of goals that I felt encouraged to write down because of Summer's 'My 2016 Life Goals' vlog post. Now some may seem like I just copied her goals, but they really did apply to me and my life. Plus some are twisted and tweaked to accommodate my not being a mommy or wife. Once again, I had the urge to reply. In my defense, she says in her videos that she loves to hear from viewers and she's just so sweet and kind. She may never read my comment, but it got me thinking and it landed me here blogging again...and working on myself which is a positive.
I loved this! February 5th isn't too late to start goals for the year, right? Many of your goals I agree with and can be applied to my life as well. You mentioned not yelling and I turned that into not being quick to get upset/not everything has to be a competition. I don't have children or a family of my own yet, but I am in a relationship where I'm finding my competitive side is coming out more so. Odd, right? Competition can be fun and playful, but I tend to take it too seriously and get upset thus ruining the fun. I need to stop that. I do have a hectic schedule so regularly attending church is difficult, but I can worship anytime/anywhere and I need to take more advantage of that as well as making it a priority to attend church events whether it be Saturday evening service or midweek worship/classes. Taking the pressure off is a must for me in terms of projects/work/social events. I like the idea of weighing in once a month as I gained a little weight last year and am getting back into my running routine. Decluttering needs to happen. I have a spare bedroom full of clutter. Must tackle. I am terrible about having negative thoughts and being hard on myself/putting myself down. I want to try to combat that this year as well. I hadn't written any goals down until I watched your video so thank you.
That sums up my goals for this year. In addition to weighing myself once a month, which Summer mentions she does the Friday after her period ends so I will shoot for the first Friday of my birth control pack, I am going to try to eat clean Monday - Friday and have my weekends free, but obviously within reason. I have already gotten into my running routine and have written down the goal of running 4-5 times per week even though I will likely run more than that. Again, keeping the pressure of myself. If I set my sights to high and fall short then we get into that whole being hard on myself and beating myself up thing. Avoiding that. I wrote in other workouts such as kickboxing, weights, videos for 2-3 times a week at least. Sundays I have attempted to make my grocery shopping/prepping for the week days before and I'd like to try to do that again. My schedule is already all over that place, so adding in trips to the store for lunches or smoothie ingredients just causes too much stress with debating on skipping a lunch run/gym session or trying to squeeze it in before work (without being late) or going late at night.
Like I said, decluttering must happen. Somehow. I keep my place fairly nice, always clean, but sometime mail is sitting on the couch, but my spare bedroom is a giant clutter closet. I have clothes I don't wear not because they don't fit right or they're out of date, but because I can't see them! I don't know where they are! This is one time where that phrase "out of sight, out of mind" comes in handy for me. I am a faithful girlfriend, but I am not loyal to articles of clothing in totes.
If I'm feeling negative thoughts towards a piece of clothing I can manage to dig out, I shall toss the item. If I am having negative feeling about myself on the other hand, I shall toss the negativity. I have struggled with this for well, maybe ever. I want to be aware of it and I want to lessen my negative thoughts. No one could hurt me as much as I hurt myself. You should hear the things I think to myself about myself sometimes. It's awful! I'm never going to have high, visible cheek bones or a narrower jawline, yet I turn my nose up at what I am given. I must think positive and true.
Last, but certainly not least, is focusing more on my faith and making more connections at my church. I am excited to be a part of my churches Passion play this year and I have met some very sweet people in rehearsals. Once the play is over, I want to still be apart of my church community. Strengthening my faith really ties all these goals in together. Giving up my struggles to the Lord and praying about what things to say yes to and what to say no to. Figuring out my path through prayer. Working on myself to be a better child of Christ, daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, girlfriend, friend, employee, actor, runner and for myself.
Let the work begin.
