To let go of someone is hard.
To know when enough is enough.
To convince yourself deep down that they are not the last stop.
To change the plans you made in your head.
To block out the day dreams.
To be alone.
To start again.
To share your story with someone new.
To wait.
To see.
To kiss.
To fail.
To get back up.
To be open to finding it.
To be open to it finding you.
To learn.
To feel your heart race.
To fall.
To love.
To make love.
To be able to look back and realize your past was best left behind.
To look to the future. With them.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Maybe You Shouldn't Date
Most of the people I know are married or are getting married, but as for myself and and a couple of my girlfriends the right guy has yet to be found. Discussions with them and reading those dating posts on Facebook have brought me here to rant.
If you are out in the dating world and you can't be honest with the person you're seeing as to whether you like them or not, which is mainly shown through action - behavior when together, communication (text and/or calls), then you are not mature enough to date. At all. Period. If you're still seeking out rando people then perhaps your dating profile (if you have one) should state that you are looking for just a hook up. A unattached, never communicate again - except maybe for more 'ahem' - STD riddled sex.
Do not seek out men/women looking for a real, honest, trusting and hopefully lasting relationship.
If you are looking for the above however, and you find yourself with someone you're becoming less enthusiastic about then do not just stop responding to their calls, texts, social media messages, e mail, etc...that's the chicken shit way out. You justify it by just feeling annoyed by their out reaches to you, rolling your eyes at the notifications on your phone before hitting the sleep button and returning it to your pocket/purse. Meanwhile, this other person is left wondering what the hell is going on. At times they'll feel angry wondering why you're such an asshole/bitch suddenly because let's face, last time you were together you probably gave no indication that you weren't feeling it. Other times they'll feel sad wondering what they did wrong. If you're feeling that way, you did nothing wrong except for getting involved with an immature coward. Listen, not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, even if it started out nice. You get to know someone better and sometimes you realize they aren't for you. That's cool. What's not cool is dropping off the face of the planet because you can't manage to be a man/woman and tell this person, nicely, that you'd make better friends or that there's a lack of chemistry on your end. Yes, it is going to suck. Typically people don't like to hurt others and yes, sometimes the other person will not thank you politely and walk away, but will cry, scream and/or throw a tantrum. It doesn't matter, you owe them that honesty. It's the ripping off the band aid way. Slinking off into the abyss, dropping all communication is the slow agonizing way of eventually letting someone know you don't give a shit about them.
I did this on a first date recently. It got to the end of the night, we're standing at our cars and he asks the, "so can I call you again" question. I took a beat and said, "I don't think so". I explained how I knew now that he wasn't a fit for me. In this case, he only offered a single rebuttal then realizing it was futile, asked that I text when I had made it safely home and left. I did text him upon my return home and thanked him for the evening. He did the same and that was that. Granted this was an easy one date shoot down and once you've been seeing someone for a while it gets a little more complicated, but all the more reason to care enough for that persons feelings to be up front with them.
If you are out in the dating world and you can't be honest with the person you're seeing as to whether you like them or not, which is mainly shown through action - behavior when together, communication (text and/or calls), then you are not mature enough to date. At all. Period. If you're still seeking out rando people then perhaps your dating profile (if you have one) should state that you are looking for just a hook up. A unattached, never communicate again - except maybe for more 'ahem' - STD riddled sex.
Do not seek out men/women looking for a real, honest, trusting and hopefully lasting relationship.
If you are looking for the above however, and you find yourself with someone you're becoming less enthusiastic about then do not just stop responding to their calls, texts, social media messages, e mail, etc...that's the chicken shit way out. You justify it by just feeling annoyed by their out reaches to you, rolling your eyes at the notifications on your phone before hitting the sleep button and returning it to your pocket/purse. Meanwhile, this other person is left wondering what the hell is going on. At times they'll feel angry wondering why you're such an asshole/bitch suddenly because let's face, last time you were together you probably gave no indication that you weren't feeling it. Other times they'll feel sad wondering what they did wrong. If you're feeling that way, you did nothing wrong except for getting involved with an immature coward. Listen, not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, even if it started out nice. You get to know someone better and sometimes you realize they aren't for you. That's cool. What's not cool is dropping off the face of the planet because you can't manage to be a man/woman and tell this person, nicely, that you'd make better friends or that there's a lack of chemistry on your end. Yes, it is going to suck. Typically people don't like to hurt others and yes, sometimes the other person will not thank you politely and walk away, but will cry, scream and/or throw a tantrum. It doesn't matter, you owe them that honesty. It's the ripping off the band aid way. Slinking off into the abyss, dropping all communication is the slow agonizing way of eventually letting someone know you don't give a shit about them.
I did this on a first date recently. It got to the end of the night, we're standing at our cars and he asks the, "so can I call you again" question. I took a beat and said, "I don't think so". I explained how I knew now that he wasn't a fit for me. In this case, he only offered a single rebuttal then realizing it was futile, asked that I text when I had made it safely home and left. I did text him upon my return home and thanked him for the evening. He did the same and that was that. Granted this was an easy one date shoot down and once you've been seeing someone for a while it gets a little more complicated, but all the more reason to care enough for that persons feelings to be up front with them.
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