Randomish Thoughts

Sigh... wish we could erase some of the past. Both in yours and mine.

Don't say anything that you would rather I not remember.

I hate the word "attractive" when you are referencing others.

At-ttrac-tive: (of a person) appealing to look at; sexually alluring... in short - someone you want to fuck. In other words, makes me rethink this.

Who is attractive to me? The person I am with. End of story.

I should feel the same from my partner.

People, be happy with what you have. If you are not happy with what you have (you are looking elsewhere) then show respect for the person you're with and walk away. They deserve better than you're looking. I don't care if there was no acting upon.

It's not all bad. The thoughts above I have had for a long, long time and discussed with people I've been in relationships with.

You said you didn't cheat. You said you never wanted to. The latter of that eased me more so after having come after the initial statement.

So maybe you agree with my seventh thought here...

That would win me over.

I want so much out of this life that involves mine being intertwined with another. My thoughts keep that from happening.

Find a like minded partner.

Noted.

Asking too much?

No such thing.

Happy thoughts.

Your kisses keep me guessing. Slow, soft kisses that send chills along my skin. Fast, hard, hot kisses that can lead to more...or more kisses. Smoochy pecks in between. Kisses that go from my mouth to ear to neck and then back to my mouth. They're all my favorite.

Roaming hands are also a favorite of mine.

My fingers in your hair while we kiss or make love. That's a reserved intimate move for me. Not for just anyone.

Feeling one thing while feeling another.

Questioning.

Wanting.

Hoping.

Daydreaming. Like all the time. Daydreaming. Of you.

Excitement every time my cell chimes.

A little bummed when it's someone else.

Happiness is you calling me any pet name lately.

Wanting to look good. In general.

Having a goal.

Running. Sweet freedom.

Acting. There's no other rush like it.

Posting this without caring what you think of me. Talk to me. Shut me out.

As soon as I typed "shut me out", I made a wish that you wouldn't. Ever.

My life - not yet complete, but this is not a bad thing. I say it in a hopeful manner. I'm excited for what's to come. To be proven wrong in what I learned from the men I was with. To be happy. Simply happy.

WTH Am I Doing?

Someday I will be consistent with this blog. I think I'm going to make a bet with myself that for now I will attempt at least one post a week. I'm guessing my posts will mainly consist of theatre and running related topics as these are the activities consuming my world currently. My mind is all over the place though, so don't hold me to that. There's something else...or I should say someone else, on my mind these days too. So that might get slipped in.
At a dinner party this past weekend, someone asked me what my blog was about. I sited my tagline.

For now, I am currently kicking off "Hell Week" for my current show, "Fertilizer". Hell week is the week leading up to a show that consists of technical and dress rehearsals. We are completely off book and on our own now. No calling for lines from the stage manager. If you blank, you either hope your fellow actors will help you out or you wing it. "Show conditions people", as the director would say. These are the rehearsals where we take all of the dialogue and blocking that we have learned and we make our character our own. I love these rehearsals. I think about the audience reactions that are to come in just a few short days. I thrive off audience reaction. You hold for laughs so no dialogue is lost, you hear the gasps of shock when they've pieced something together and you feel the change of atmosphere as they sob. Every show is different! Responses vary from audience to audience.
We will run for two weekends then I will have three days before rehearsals for my next show will begin.

The rehearsal schedule for "Let's Murder Marsha" will be much more intense as we only have a month before we open. I look to have a rehearsal every week night in March as opposed to our regular Monday/Tuesday schedule leading up to hell week.
So far, I have nothing planned right after the close of LMM and I believe I will need a little break.

Yesterday I auditioned for a show that will perform at the Fringe Festival in July. I should hear something from them over the next two weeks.

Well, I'm about to work on my other activity, running. It's sunny and warmer today than it has been, but it sounds awfully windy.