I have never really been happy with the way I look. The closest I've come to feeling positive about my size was last winter. Even then I didn't really appreciate how much smaller I had gotten. I still wanted to lose just a little more and I thought then I would be happy. I remember thinking I was near the size I would want to be on my wedding day. Now I look back and think damn I was thin and should have been happy and most importantly I should have stayed there! Also I think, "sucks I was thinnest during the coldest months. Couldn't have happened over bikini season, could it?"
At the time I was going through a lot of stress, emotions, relationship issues and I was eating smaller portions, which I realize is why I am inching my way back up to my former weight. Recently I've been thinking that the gym time and miles logged running would get me back into my size 4 jeans (I'm 5'10") alone, but what I haven't been controlling is my eating habits. Not only have I been eating larger portions, but I haven't been eating as healthy. I need to get a grip! I blame my schedule with two jobs, play rehearsal, gym, family/friends and a need to clean my townhome. I'm on the go a lot of the time. Every time I put on a pair of jeans I get depressed. I don't want to put on the size 6's or 8's!! I want to give them away and never need them again!
That's me on Christmas Eve 2009 in my size 4 jeans.
Hmm...at the moment I don't really have any 3/4 or full length pictures of me that have been taken recently. There's a reason for that.
Ok, I'm going to work on my eating habits and be strong! Will power!
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