When your relationship reaches a new level and you're spending a lot of time together you're inevitably missing out on what your friends are doing. You know, those single gals you used to tear up the town with? Now it seems they're moving on without you, meeting other single girls to hang out with and meet men, but at the same time that's not your lifestyle anymore. What do you do?
It almost seems like you have to make a new set of friends, 'couple friends'. These seem like people who will understand when you want it to be just a you two night. They discuss their relationships and not how hot that guy is, who they slept with last night or who's bed they woke up in last weekend. That talk seems disturbing to me being a couple. Certainly not something I want discussed in front of the two of us.
My single friends don't seem terribly understanding of my wanting to have time with just my man and after two times of this I'm being talked about behind my back about how I ditch my girlfriends for my new boyfriend. This is not true. And I'm not saying I won't still see my girls and go out, but it makes me a little bit in a strange way miss being single. At the same time I know that can't go on forever and I'm getting closer to a big birthday, which makes me feel like it's time to settle down and start a family within the next few years (if that is in fact what I want, which I know I do). I've been warming up to the idea of having a baby. One of the friends I'm referencing has two kids! But she's separated from their Dad so she gets free nights. It seems that's the way to do it. Get married/in a serious relationship, have kids then split thus splitting kid time and getting freebie nights to live it up. That's how you have it all??
No, because I want love. Why do I feel like I'm teetering on this line? It's between fun girl nights, being single and meeting guys and falling in love, getting married, having a family and sharing my life with someone... which one sounds more meaningful? And really those single girlfriends of mine want that too; they're just not there, haven't met the right guy.
It's true we're not happy with what we have. They want what I have and a part of me misses what they have. Or maybe it's just a guilty feeling? Because I am happy. I am truly happy in this relationship I'm in and have never felt so reassured that this is right. It's for this reason that I want to spend as much time as I can with him. We make each other happy. It's just making that adjustment... that transition into coupledom. Making my evenings spent with him more about making dinner with him, talking/sharing with him rather than how I used to go out even on some week nights, drinking, staying out late... yeah it made for great stories and true we did some really stupid and dangerous things all in the name of alcohol and fun, but that's not me anymore. Sure I want to have girls nights and drink a reasonable amount and get home safely alone or to my boyfriend, but I'll just have to understand the fact that I will miss many nights of mayhem and I'll be ok with it because my time with him or with my family rather or even alone, just not taking part in that old craziness is cultivating something more and will hopefully lead to a even happier future.
No comments:
Post a Comment